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To be honest, it hit me a few days ago that I've been here almost 4 years now and I don't know anyone. I can literally go days without talking to anyone. This was fine when I had a course to attend, at least I could talk to someone there, but since I graduated and my course colleagues have scattered to the four corners, nothing.

I know largely it's my fault. The guys on my course seemed to go out regularly and strictly speaking I guess I could have gone along, but I am profoundly bad a small talk. Give me stuff to do (or organize or manage or improve or mold) and I'm really good. I'm not being boastful there I don't think. In addition, I don't get shy there. I'm not sure why but it's like I can shut off the part of me that tells me to be shy about something and can chat away quite merrily about the project. Once it's dealt with though I tend to get into mind freeze territory again.

I'm the same way with kids, even the shy ones. I don't know how, but I seem to have a knack of getting kids to trust me. I remember one summer some friends came round and they brought their kids over. According to one Mum her son was so shy he didn't talk to anyone (which I automatically viewed as a challenge). By the end of the day I was giving him (along with four other kids) a swimming lesson and he was babbling away to me and the other kids. The next day, Sarah was joking that she had to come by more often because he'd gone back to his shy introverted self.

Any how I said all that to say this. I'm a little fed up with me being all shy and hamstrung here, so I've decided to go on an anti-clockwise road trip round the country. At least then, I won't feel guilty for feeling shy and hamstrung. Or more accurately, I'll have an excuse for it.

I'll start the second week in April, at which point I'll head for Pecos, TX, Lordsburg, NM, Phoenix AZ, Los Angeles, and Salinas, CA. That should take a week or so. I'm sure I can come up with something for the remaining 53 by the time I leave Salinas.

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jamiebowen0306
jamiebowen0306

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